


I'm Holding You to That,

by Thebigbadwolfandlittlered



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Derek has a panic attack, Derek opens up, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Minor Character Death, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered/pseuds/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has a panic attack and goes to Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Holding You to That,

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this is good, I just got inspired at 3:30 in the morning and then this happened and it's not beta'd like I didn't even proof read this because I'm so tired.
> 
> EDIT: I just went through and fixed a few of the mistakes and then made the song in italics and btw the song is 'Hey Jude' by The Beatles!

Derek is just walking through the woods tracing a faded scent of another werewolf; omega maybe he tells himself and keeps walking and then it happens to quickly and so sudden that he isn't sure what really happened. He knows he saw something fly fast by his face and then there was fire and he heard screaming and the sick cackling laugh of Kate Argent. Derek doesn't know what to think but he feels his insides pulling in, like a black hole just appeared inside of him and is sucking everything in and he can't move, but he feels his instinct kick in slightly and he knows he's running but where he doesn't know, and his breathing is getting thick and tears weld up in his eyes, he can hear screaming, their screaming. He can feel their blame, and it's all his fault and he should have been home, and he should have been the one to die. He wasn't the important one. Why did he live? He was the reason they are all dead now, the reason they all had to die at the slow pace of minuets ticking by and they had to watch each other die, when it should have been him anyways.

Derek looks up and realizes he is at Stiles' house but right now just needs- he doesn't even know what he needs. He pulls the window open and crashes inside and lands with a thunk to the floor but he only feels the tears over flowing, his breath coming out in short huffs and his vision is blurring out and he can't feel his body and he tries standing up but feels himself falling into the nothingness and he can't stop anything and he has no control and then he feels it; hands pulling him up to the air to breath but Derek knows they won't make it in time, he is to far under water. And then he hears sound, but not really words, but the sound is the most beautiful thing he has heard, it's something he could never quite pinpoint, but then the sound turns into words,

 

"Derek, can you hear me? Focus on my voice, you're okay, I have you. You're going to be okay just focus on me," The perfect creature is pulling Derek up and his his back is to the voices front and arms wrap around him and the voice is still talking but Derek has faded him out. Would his death really be that big of a deal? Who would miss him? Derek is alone, he doesn't have anyone. People would talk about his death but no one would cry about it. He is in no way important. Derek is the worst kind of person. Maybe death is the best way out for him. He focuses on the voice and decides that if the best last thing to hear,

" _Hey Jude, don't make it bad,_  
 _Take a sad song and make it better,_  
 _Remember to let her into your heart,_  
 _Then you can start to make it better_.'" Derek is starting to get the feeling back into his legs but the voice keeps singing,

" _Hey Jude, don't be afraid,_  
 _You were made to go out and get her,_  
 _The minuet you let her under your skin,_  
 _Then you begin to make it better,_  
 _And any time you feel the pain,_  
 _Hey Jude refrain,_  
 _Don't carry the world upon your shoulder_ ," Derek can breath but it's shallow and he can think and he let's his eyes open slowly. The arms that are wrapped around him pull him closer like a hug and a cheek rests on Derek's head in what feels like relief,

 

"Derek, oh my god, you can't do that do me ever again. Jesus," Stiles turns out to be the man with the voice and Derek can't even think about that right now, his head hurts and his body feels like it was just shoved out of a 5 story building. He moves to get up but Stiles holds him and down and Derek want's to ask way but he can't right now.

"If you're tired right now that's okay, you can sleep. I'm not going anywhere." He has no idea why that brings him comfort but it does, and Derek lets waves of sleep roll over him and gently dreams of singing and warm arms wrapped around him.

* * *

 

When Derek wakes up he wakes with a sudden jolt and jumps out of bed and looks around and sees Stiles, with a calm and patient face and that's a first, laying on the bed next to where Derek was just a second ago. Silence stretches between the two of them and Derek barely remembers what happened and he feels suddenly embarrassed and looks over to the window and tries to figure out how fast it would take for him to run and jump out of the window and run as far away from not just Stiles, but his entire life, when Stiles starts talking,

"There is a glass of water behind you on my desk." Derek spins around and his head is in some deep pain and he just now realizes how thirsty he is. He looks over at Stiles and glares at him.

"It's not laced with wolves-bane I promise. Just drink it and come lay back down." Stiles pats the bed next to him where Derek was sleeping before. "We can talk if you want. I'm fine with that. You probably don't have anyone to talk to now a days. I would be glad to listen to you." Stiles looks at him and to Derek's surprise there is not a look of pity like he was expecting, but a look of understanding. Derek opens his mouth to speak and finds his throat extremely horse and turns to pick the glass up and drinks the entire thing. Then sets the glass back down and turns to face Stiles,

"Why?" Derek asks. He makes no indication of moving and Stiles answers without any sort of threat,

"Because I know what it's like. It's the worst thing imaginable and to go threw it alone is even worse, and Derek, I'm not just talking about the panic attack," Derek flinches but Stiles' words don't even waver, "I'm talking about life. Not a single one of us ever stops to think about how difficult this is for you. Derek, you don't have to do this alone. Talk to me. If you feel something and need to talk, Derek, I'm 100% here. You can even duck-tape my mouth closed if you need me to shut up so you can talk. Because I am quite the rambler..." Stiles got that he was rambling right then and shut himself up and Derek was frozen where he was. What should he do? He surely can't trust Stiles, but his heartbeat was steady through out that entire, whatever it was. Derek has always had odd feelings about Stiles, he would always go to him in a time of panic, and even his inner wolf, Derek hates to think it, but his wolf trusts Stiles. Derek looks Stiles in the eye and sees nothing but honesty there. Derek's feet move of there own accord and he walks up to the bed and lays down on his back facing the ceiling and Stiles moves onto his back too.

"I- I have never talked about it before. Not even to Laura after the- the fire. I felt like she held everything against me, and I can't blame her." Stiles didn't say anything. So Derek went on. He told Stiles everything. He took a whole hour, and when he got choked up Stiles reached and laced their fingers together and provided Derek with an anchor, and this anchor felt better then anger, because this was something that took weight off of Derek and this was probably the first time in a long time, and Derek told Stiles that even. Everything Derek has ever felt or thought is now in the air and out on the table. When Derek finishes Stiles in uncharacteristically quiet but this entire evening is confusing and weird.

"Why did you sing to me Stiles?" He asks thinking Stiles just needs a jump start into talking and he was right.

"I had panic attacks before my mom got sick, I have always had this stress thing. It's just a thing, I guess. It did get really bad after my mothers, um, passing, but before when I had them, sometimes they would get so bad that I wasn't sure what was real and I felt like nothing really mattered anymore and I couldn't feel anything and my mom would pull me out by singing. Derek, your breath was was coming out so short and you wouldn't move and you'r pulse was so fast and I almost panicked, but I knew I couldn't. I had to help you, and I hated feeling so helpless and you were so upset and I had never seen you like that, but there was this little thing that nagged me about how when that was happening you came to me. And by the way you have no idea how hard it was to get you on the bed, and when you busted through the window I almost screamed and we are so lucky my dad had the all night shift tonight because that would have been bad, he would have tried to feed you after words and then he would demand that you stay the night, and you are by the way I'm not letting you out of my sight when that just happened, and ya shutting up now." Derek's mouth moved to it's own willing and then the words 'Keep talking' fell out of his mouth and wow. So Stiles kept talking, sometimes getting really deep other times about how school lunch really isn't that bad, but everyone complains anyways, and Derek lets himself listen and let his guard down and let Stiles and him just, be. They existed and Stiles talked and Derek rolled onto his side and watched his face as he moved to mouth all of the words, and stung sentence after sentence together without that much effort at all. Stiles yawned eventually and he rolled onto his side facing away from Derek and he figured what the hell this night has already been a absolutely odd and in no way normal night, he wraps his arm around Stiles front and pulls him closer back to him and Stiles smiles, and Derek rests his head and is about to fall asleep when he whispers,

"Thank you, Stiles." Into the back of his neck,

"Anytime." He answers and Derek will most likely hold him to that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want more, like a how they react to each other after that, and sniz nip and shaw wow then let me know! and I'm sorry for all the mistakes you had to read to get through that X{


End file.
